Living with Vitiligo

This is something that I’ve wanted to share for a while now. With models like Winnie Harlow (bravely) flaunting their Vitiligo, the sad reality is millions of men and women do not have the same platform to be as easily accepted. Now whilst it might sound harsh, and I’m sure even the models are often snubbed, the society we live in these days is just not used to people out of the “norm”.

Waking up every morning to a speckled face takes a lot of patience. Walking past the mirror, looking to see if there is a development, and analysing new spots whilst praying that it is your eyes or the light playing tricks on you. I have had Vitiligo for eleven years and Alhamdullilah it has been quite steady, only really progressing in the last few years. Here’s the frustrating thing, I actually got rid of my Vitiligo. Yup, the whole thing disappeared totally, and I looked “normal” again. But it didn’t last long, and I awoke to see the unsightly white specks forming overnight. Needless to say it was equally frustrating and heartbreaking.

A lot of people say, “oh my God, I know exactly how you feel, I have eye bags or really bad acne.” Sorry but that’s not exactly the same. Whilst you may be concious of these, you would still be able to nip to the corner shop without a dot of make up on your face. Not me, I can’t even open the front door without the comfort of my “mask”. Every single day, after washing my face and brushing my teeth, I resort to colouring in the voids of my face. As I cover up my arms and legs due to religious reasons, I don’t worry too much about the other specks.

I am very grateful that I am supplied Kryolan DermaColor Creme and Fixing Powder from the hospital, I know many do not have that luxury. It is saddening when I can’t wear normal concealer to highlight my eyes, or blend my blusher with the fear of blending off my cover up. I am aware that this sounds incredibly shallow but the point of this post is to highlight what goes through the head of someone who doesn’t fit the “norm”.

I’m sure many people think I should give people more credit, but it is that fear or being mocked, the insecurity and the low confidence which has made me wear a mask everyday for the last eleven years. The one day I plucked up the courage to “unmask” my face was on the day I performed my Umrah (mini pilgrimage) Alhamdullilah. I thought if I can’t bare all to my Creator now, when can I? And with that leap of faith, I spent the whole day without any make up at all. The next day, all was back to normal.

So next time you ask someone, “Why are you wearing make up, you should be confident.” or “Your eyes can’t be that sensitive if you wear mascara every day.” Just stop yourself for a second and think, with every lash of mascara I apply, with every streak of my eyeliner, with every blot of my lipstick, I try to build up that confidence that society has knocked for being “different”.

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3 thoughts on “Living with Vitiligo

  1. Pingback: Living with a hearing impairment | The Double Ds

  2. To be honest i had to search it up what it actually was and see the google images section as to why is it so bad and I realised that yeah it is quite bad.

    One thing I was curious about tho is that why every single day – its not like people would kill you if you don’t. I mean i would only dress up good if i’m trying to look good in front of my to-be in laws or something like that. Yes im a guy and all – and its SUPER different than that for a girl but still its a medical thing (and clearly not your fault). I can imagine how much stressful it could be even for me to sit in front of mirror every single day to apply it (AND FOR ELEVEN YEARS) – that’s outrageous.

    However I don’t think i should be judging you at all for it – it is what it is. But dont feel bad after reading this comment – ALLAH swt only looks at our hearts and not faces – and i can assure you that women put a lot of makeup even those who don’t have any condition because they are trying to fit in – and believe me they can never. We always think that we need to fit in but we really can’t – society will always judge you no matter what and you can’t change that. Successful are those who stop caring about the world and live happily with what they have and how they have – those who love you will not stop loving you if you didn’t put any make up and those who don’t love you will not start loving you out of sudden just because of your ‘mask’ honestly because those who love you its because of what’s inside your skin (that’s what the most important thing is).

    Happy Breathing.

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